Unplugging Our Kids – Removing the TV and Computer from their Bedrooms
Technology is changing so rapidly most parents have to work hard to keep up with their children’s knowledge, let alone keep them safe and healthy. Teens that have computers and or TVs in their bedrooms are exposed to a host of bad habits and threatening situations that many parents might not expect. Dateline’s "To Catch a Predator" series may frighten some parents with its sensationalist portraits of unscrupulous people stalking young teens online, while others scoff at the extremes presented, yet sensible solutions for more everyday threats are still needed.
The Kaiser Family Foundation recently reported that twice as many children have computers in their bedrooms in 2007 as did five years ago. According to an i - Safe America poll, 22 percent of school - age children admit they send instant messages while their parents think they’re asleep. Many parents do not want to deal with competition for the computer or TV so they give their children their own. However, the rising threats inherent in a changing world of technology require parents to take the TV and computer out of their children’s bedrooms.
Changing the Way Your Family Relates to TV and Computers
The culture and perceptions of young people are deftly molded by the media they choose to consume. Young people’s jokes and shared social capital of references come from their technological childhood of shared TV shows, websites, and instant messenger (IM) banter. The stories TV and computers teach children shape their beliefs. For many young people media all but dictates the stories they repeat again and again to themselves, until they become the outlines of their reality, or personal narrative. A generalized sketch of a teen’s personal narrative relating to studying under the influence of the media might sound something like this.
"It is so boring when I’m not listening or watching anything, I can’t even think. Even if I’m doing homework, I have to have the TV on just to focus. I’ll put on something familiar like my South Park DVDs. I don’t even have to listen to get the jokes anymore. My friends and I always text message on our phones and IM to chat and help each other out with school. I can’t study without the internet because I can always look something up on wikipedia or ask for answers in a chat room. Keeping a myspace window open is like keeping the lights on. You just have to do it to see what’s going on."
Such a view point may sound extreme. Yet parents can be surprised by how thoroughly teens are engrossed in something they are not discussing with adults. It is not hard for modern media to drive children’s lifestyle in unhealthy directions when all the necessities are in their rooms. Changing course when teens are strongly entrenched in this culture is not as simple as going into their room one afternoon and removing the TV and computer. If parents live in fear of internet predators and the other serious dangers their teens may be exposed to and act unilaterally they will probably be seen as a dictator. Getting to know young people better by becoming a part of what they are up to will help create common ground, so parents can arm their teens with knowledge instead of driving them away. To support teens in being healthier, it is important not to attack their self narrative; help them develop a wiser one.
Actively constructing a wholesome paradigm shift in the mode in which teens relate to media means helping them to be deliberate about their down time. Parents must prevent the static environment, in which media becomes the strongest voice, from being a norm in young people’s lives. Curiosity is the key. Almost every child has it in abundance. The new personal narrative your family can sculpt together should be one driven by exploration, not passive activities. Transitioning to a more constructive way of life for teens means seeking out media that relates to their interests—as opposed to the other way around. Parents can encourage this by focusing on blending indoor and outdoor activities, saying, for example, for base ball fans, "Let’s take the dog to the park and throw the ball around a bit, and then we can come home and watch the Red Socks game." Having a game room instead of a TV room is a definite start.
Using TV Positively
Television has mesmerized recent generations to the point were it will probably only be uprooted from the American family by its technological successor. However, families can think critically about the role it plays in their lifestyle and actively decide to make changes. Agree on the shows different children can watch, and look for ones the family can enjoy together. Just one television is enough. Put it in a common area to bring the family together and build in a little supervision. If parents are going to sleep watching TV in bed, children will instantly see the hypocrisy in them not being allowed to as well. Focusing the way families watch TV can be described positively to teens, saying "If we could get rid of all the little TVs in everybody’s rooms, we could make the one in the den more like a theatre, we could figure out a schedule of cool shows to TiVo and make it more of a family thing."
A TV in the bedroom not only exposes teens to unbridled sex and violence (try actually listening to some of the lyrics on MTV), but also its formative nature puts them at greater risk for growing health issues among young people—ranging from getting enough sleep to childhood obesity. Teens need eight to nine hours of sleep every night to lead a healthy and successful life. According to the National Sleep Foundation's 2006 national Sleep in America poll there is an awareness gap between parents and teens on the issue. The poll reported that, "While nine out of ten parents state their adolescent is getting enough sleep at least a few nights during the school week, more than one - half (56 percent) of adolescents say they get less sleep than they think they need to feel their best. And, 51 percent say they feel too tired or sleepy during the day."
The poll had a number of fascinating things to say about how, "Technology may also be encroaching on a good night's sleep" for teens. Getting enough sleep requires forming good habits with activities that help teens get to sleep on time. For the hour before going to sleep the survey reported that the most common teen activity was watching television (76 percent) while surfing the internet/instant - messaging (44 percent) and talking on the phone (40 percent) are close behind. According to the study teens with four or more technological toys in their room such as a television, computer, phone, or music device, were "much more likely than their peers to get an insufficient amount of sleep at night and almost twice as likely to fall asleep in school and while doing homework." Furthermore, according to a study in the International Journal of Obesity, published September 12th 2006, children who have a TV in their bedroom are 10% more likely to be obese than children who do not. Clearly, teen’s technological playgrounds become unhealthy when parents don’t take the plunge and pull the plug in the bedroom.
Teen’s Changing Technological Culture
The internet increasingly defines the way young people learn and communicate. It may be harder than television for parents to critic because children learn to use computers by experimentation, making it feel like a less static experience for them than TV. However, if parents can understand and control teen’s experiments, they can prevent dangerous explosions in the laboratories of their young lives.
Respecting the different cultural roles media fills for young people is the first step to working to with teens on the issue. Myspace, IM, and text messaging on cell phones, may seem like newborn technologies. Yet for most young people in America they have become vital touchstones of social communication—often absorbing hours daily. The manner in which such communication functions is different from that of older methods like phone and snail mail. You can send as many messages as you like because you are not directly intruding into another’s life, by calling them on the phone, for example; they respond only if they want to. However, when you respond to any message you became aware of all the others. So you can have casual conversations with an unlimited number of people without having to stop what you are doing right away. It is a multi - tasker’s dream.
Many people comment that children do not read as much as they used to, yet what some do not realize is that the internet has grown to fill a comparable role. With the ready availability of exhaustive databases, forums, and encyclopedias - like wikipedia.org and youtube.com - teens surf and chat to explore their interests. Losing internet access could feel a lot more restrictive than a bookworm from an earlier generation having their library card taken away. If teens think their parents are oblivious to these differences and are restricting what they do not understand, rather than just finding an appropriate time and place for it, they are likely to be livid and not a lot safer.
Making Time on the Computer Productive and Safe
Discussing the issues with teens, parents should be prepared to listen, learn about, and discuss social differences - rather than handing down ultimatums. Just as parents can seek to create a positive environment for television, they can create a focused environment for computer use. It can be a challenge to find a good place to put a child’s computer outside of their room in a small home, yet helping them set up their own study or computer nook can make it feel like parents are trying to help rather than practicing a snatch and grab policy. Cornucopias of parental control programs are available for the internet, yet teens often learn to circumvent them. It is prudent not to let the program do the parenting. Websites such as www.isafe.org provide a multiplicity of educational resources for the whole family to compliment protective software, and represent a strong starting point for learning to stay safe online.
There are a number of techniques parents can use to ensure the rules are being followed. For example, it may help parents of teens with laptops to put the docking station in a public space, and then parents can make sure the laptop sleeps there. Replacing a teen’s computer keyboard or mouse with a wireless model, then requiring that it be turned in at a specific time could foster a compromise, where more mature teens who make commitments to parents about their internet use can still keep the computer in their room. Just remember computers are media centers these days; make sure they do not start a movie or plug in a game controller and then give back the mouse.
The rapid proliferation of home wireless networks makes parental control even harder, but with a little practice parents can administer separate secure networks that let them turn their teens wireless off, and leave their own on. The explosion of handheld messaging and internet tools means parents should consider not letting teens take their phones to bed either. Because the market drives companies to make internet access more and more convenient, parents should regularly do a little internet research of their own to stay in the game.
Open and honest communication with young people is the key to helping them make the choices and build the habits that lead to a healthy and safe relationship with technology. The influence of the media can not be snuffed out of children’s lives outside the home - so educating them is parents’ greatest hope. Listening to and observing the stories teens act out about their technological playground is the first step to making changes in a way that fills their lives with more meaningful pastimes than staying up too late on myspace.
