Sexual Bullying: A New Generation of Bullies Taunts Victims with Anti-Gay Slurs and Sexual Harassment

By Meghan Vivo

In a recent rash of teen suicides, one clear theme has appeared: Sexual bullying in the form of anti-gay slurs and sexual harassment can be severely damaging to the teen psyche.

After being tormented by anti-gay slurs, 11-year-old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, a sixth grader who did not identify as gay, hung himself with an extension cord. Around the same time, another 11-year-old boy, Jaheem Herrera, hung himself after coming home from school, having been subjected to bullies calling him “gay” and a “snitch.” Reports also told the story of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old California boy who died after being shot by a classmate who “took issue with King’s effeminate ways and love of lady’s clothing.”

There are countless stories of anti-gay and homophobic bullying, directed at both teenage boys and girls, some that lead to suicide, some that lead to violence, and others that lead to years of abuse and silent suffering. Though bullying can take many forms, including hitting, name-calling, social exclusion, and sending threatening emails, sexual bullying is affecting more teens and in more serious ways.

The Rise of Sexual Bullying

Sexual bullying usually involves violence, threats, or comments that are sexual in nature. Teens report incidences ranging from spreading rumors or calling names to sexual assault and rape. The American Association of University Women (AAUW) reports that 81 percent of students in U.S. schools will experience some form of sexual harassment during their school lives, with 27 percent experiencing it often.

Anti-gay slurs and homophobic comments have a lasting negative impact whether the teen is homosexual or heterosexual. Thousands of heterosexual youth report harassment or violence for being perceived as gay. But in addition to facing the usual challenges of adolescence, gay teens endure the brunt of the sexual bullying. A study of more than 7,500 youth ages 14-22, conducted by researchers in the adolescent medicine division of Children’s Hospital Boston, found that lesbian and gay teens are three times more likely than heterosexual teens to report being bullied.

Experts believe sexual bullying is part of the reason gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. Surveys have also revealed that 22 percent of gay teens skip school because they felt unsafe there, and 28 percent of gay students will drop out of school (more than three times the national average for heterosexual students) – often because of sexual bullying.

When Sexting Leads to Suicide

Of course, sexual bullying involves more than anti-gay slurs and homophobic comments. Other forms of sexual harassment can include name-calling, threats, and cell phone text messages that are sexual in nature (“sexting”).

Jesse Logan, a high school student from Ohio, went to the news to share her plight with sexual bullying. She had texted her boyfriend a nude photo, which he immediately sent to other high school girls when they broke up. The girls began calling Jesse vicious names, throwing objects at her, and harassing her every day. To avoid the embarrassment and despair, Jesse began skipping school – and worse. Miserable, depressed, and afraid to go to school, Jesse hung herself at age 18.

Although legal professionals advise that teens who take and disseminate nude photos of children or teens under age 18 can be criminally charged for child pornography or disseminating child pornography to a minor, these penalties pale in comparison to the emotional turmoil victims of bullying experience.

Long-Term Effects of Sexual Bullying

Bullying has a long-term impact on those who were tormented as teens. Studies suggest that teenage girls who are victimized by bullies are more likely to have early sexual experiences and multiple partners, while the opposite is true for teenage boys who are bullied.

The link between sexual behaviors and bullying is likely caused by low self-esteem brought on by peer aggression, making girls more vulnerable to early sexual advances because they lack confidence and making boys less attractive to girls because of decreased confidence.

How to Confront Teen Bullying

Conventional wisdom used to tell teens to ignore bullies and hope they go away. Because that approach seldom deters a bully’s taunts, experts now recommend that teens respond firmly and with self-assuredness, telling bullies that their behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If possible, get the support of other students – bullies don’t like it much when the tables are turned and their behaviors are the ones being challenged. Then tell someone in a position of authority, whether teachers, parents, school officials, or otherwise, and keep a record of each bullying incident.

For parents, remember that bullying can turn a teen’s life upside down. Offer plenty of support, love, and encouragement, and talk to school officials immediately. Be your child’s strongest advocate and help him practice constructive but firm ways to respond to a bully’s taunts.

If the bullying continues and your child’s school isn’t handling the problem in a satisfactory manner, seek professional help. There are dozens of programs, including private boarding schools and wilderness therapy programs, that specialize in helping victims of bullying build confidence and coping skills and perpetrators of bullying handle their anger and emotions in more productive ways.